Anyone who’s ever had to use the restroom when there’s no toilet paper would certainly call such a situation an emergency.
However, it’s not a police emergency. That’s the message being sent out by an Oregon police department after being flooded with 9-1-1 calls from people reporting they’ve got nothing to wipe with.
In a message posted on Facebook, the Newport Police Department writes, “It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this. Do not call 911 just because you ran out of toilet paper.
You will survive without our assistance.” The message goes on to suggest alternatives to toilet paper, such as sponges, corn cobs, catalogue pages, grocery receipts, and empty toilet paper rolls. “Be resourceful,” police say in the post. “Be patient. Just don’t call 9-1-1. We cannot bring you toilet paper.”