Boxing legend Mike Tyson says he nearly “died” the first time he tried tripping on toad venom — yet he went on to use the psychedelic drug at least 53 more times.

The former heavyweight champ says using the drug, which is derived from the Sonoran Desert Toad, helped him become more focused, more creative and happier. “In my trips I’ve seen that death is beautiful,” Tyson says. “Life and death both have to be beautiful, but death has a bad rep.

The toad has taught me that I’m not going to be here forever. There’s an expiration date.” While drug users aren’t always the most reliable sources of information, Tyson says he’s not the only one who’s recognized a positive change as a result of his venom use. “People see the difference,” he says. “It speaks for itself.

If you knew me in 1989 you knew a different person. My mind isn’t sophisticated enough to fathom what happened, but life has improved.

The toad’s whole purpose is to reach your highest potential. I look at the world differently. We’re all the same. Everything is love.”